A classic on people skills. I’ve summarised the principles here, but I recommend everyone reads the book as it’s rich with examples of famous historical figures and Carnegie’s personal anecdotes.

Fundamental techniques in handling people

  • Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  • Inspire in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

  • Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Smile.
  • Remember that a person’s name is to them the sweetest and most important sound.
  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  • Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

How to win people to your way of thinking

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • Respect the other’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong”.
  • If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Begin in a friendly way.
  • Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately. (Socratic Method)
  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
  • Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view.
  • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  • Appeal to nobler motives.
  • Dramatise your ideas.
  • Throw down a challenge. (stimulate competition)

Be a leader

  • Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  • Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • Let the other person save face.
  • Praise the slightest and every improvement.
  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • Use encouragement. Make a fault seem easy to correct.
  • Make the person happy about doing the thing you suggest.